I was going to be in my new house by September, with two housemates to help me pay the mortgage. (It was going to be DARLING, of course.)
I was going to revive at least two of my out-of-print novels as e-books by the end of August. (They were going to be Kindle and Nook best sellers...)
I was going to spend a lot of time hiking and biking and exploring the Pacific Northwest. (Wow, would I be in great physical shape!)
I was going to work out my brain every day, too, maybe learn another language, or do those online puzzles that are supposed to keep your mind sharp, or at least re-read a couple of the classics.
I woke up realizing I won't be into my house for at least another month. And while I still have high hopes that it WILL be darling, it's far from that right now. (There's nothing quite as frightening to a first-time home owner as seeing her house after the demolition phase and before any reconstruction work has begun.) I do have one housemate, and she's a gem--but it looks like I'll be paying more of the mortgage than I planned for.
I haven't even looked at the manuscripts I planned to revise and edit and get out there in the marketplace.
Hiking and biking? I've spent the whole summer in a knee brace, an achilles protector and a physical therapy office. It appears I've been walking, sitting and driving the wrong way, all these years. Ever try to change the way you walk, sit or drive? (Talk about mental exercise!)
I did listen to the first CD in a French language learning course--sort of. (My mind kept wandering. The instructor had such a luscious voice. What more do I need to be able to say in French than "Je t'aime"?!)
I AM in the middle of a book, but it's not exactly a classic. In fact, after a few little feeling-sorry-for-myself sniffles this morning, I followed my housemate's advice and lounged on the sofa in my pj's and robe with a cup of hot tea and a trashy novel. "Give yourself until noon," she said. "Wallow awhile. But when you're done, you're done. And then you need to have some fun." So we've made plans to go see a movie tonight. Is she a great housemate, or what?!
It didn't even take until noon. I had my tea and read a few chapters and started to think about all I HAVE accomplished this summer. I bought the house--my first ever--and poured my efforts into planning the renovations. I spent some time almost every day with my lovely mom, who's in assisted living--time I will never regret. I took care of business--mine, my mother's, other family members'. I hosted two sets of out-of-town guests. I went out of town myself for just a few days to help friends celebrate their wedding anniversary. I started an exercise regimen to start training my body to move in new ways. And now that school's starting soon, I'm in the thick of planning for the year.
Waking up in a funk this morning didn't just happen. I've been building up to it. My recent morning pages should have been a clue that I was over-stressed and exhausted and I needed to do something about it. I needed two things, in fact, to refresh my spirit and ignite my love for life and jump-start my creativity: 1) to wallow awhile; 2) to have some fun!
We creatives need both. Feeling--really feeling--the highs and the lows enriches our lives and our art. If you're in a funk, admit it. Wallow in it! Just understand that when you're done, you're done--and it's time to have some fun.
What's your favorite way to wallow? And what do you do for fun when you need revival?